sex after menopause

9 Ways To Keep Your Sex Life Steamy Post Menopause

Oh, menopause. How we side eye thee. You’re known for the miraculous changes you bring on. You know… the lack of sleep, a few bladder leaks (pssst…Lily Bird can help with that), unforgivable droughts, and subpar hanky-panky. Ladies, you know what I’m talking about!

While we’ve touched on most of these topics relating to menopause before, we haven’t talked about how menopause affects the sack and what you can do about it. So, let’s chat about ways to heat things up after menopause so you can keep living your best life.

Stella Got Her Groove Back And So Can You

Menopause brings with it some natural changes that are completely normal but also sometimes a nuisance. Our beloved vaginas can feel the impact of depleted estrogen levels as the moisture we once had in our sacred lady parts now feels like a thing of the past. In fact, at least half of us will experience vaginal dryness post-menopause, so don’t feel alone on that front.

With age comes wisdom and a whole lot of adapting to change, so if you want your groove back, then it’s time to put on your big girl panties (the sexy ones) and keep reading.

1. Grab The Lube

According to, at least 45 percent of postmenopausal women find sex painful. Sometimes it feels a little dry and other times it just feels too tight. No matter what the case is, you shouldn’t continue on without ensuring your vagina is adequately lubricated and ready to run. Otherwise, you risk unpleasant tears and bleeding.

Head to the store and grab a silicone-based lubricant, which is known for being slippery and long-lasting. The water-based lubes just aren’t as pleasant.

2. Vaginal Moisturizers for the Win

If you need a little more than lube, then consider a vaginal moisturizer. These can be found over-the-counter and/or be prescribed by your doctor. By using it just a few times per week, you can rejuvenate and hydrate your vaginal tissues, which alleviates the symptoms of vaginal dryness both in and out of the sack.

3. Work Out to Work On Your Sex Drive

Not only is exercise good for your overall health, it also releases endorphins (feel-good hormones). When you feel good mentally, emotionally, and physically, then you have the perfect ingredients (and the energy) for a healthy sex drive.

4. Get Intimate

By the time you reach menopause, sex is more than just hopping in the bed and getting it on. It’s also about intimacy. You can strengthen the bond between you and your partner by kissing, caressing, and whispering sweet nothings to each other throughout the day. That way when it’s time to do the do, you’re all in.

5. Add A Toy or Two

Did you know that studies show that women who use vibrators report better sexual health? The vibrations actually stimulate blood flow and increased blood flow results in sexual arousal.

6. Switch It Up

One the symptoms of menopause is thinning of the vaginal walls, so certain positions might not feel as great as they used to. Some of the best positions to try after menopause are:

  • Doggy Style
  • Woman on top,
  • Lying on your side

7. Do It Yourself

Ladies, one thing we’ve learned over the years is that sometimes we have to do it ourselves. For instance, the cup your partner keeps leaving on the nightstand that you constantly remind them to put away…you end up having to do it yourself. The toy on the rug you keep begging your kids or grandkids to put away…sometimes you just have to do it yourself.

And last but not least, if you want to spice it up post-menopause, you might have to do it yourself. Masturbation gets a bad rap but it’s totally normal and healthy. And, it can can help keep your sexual energy alive. Just careful not to over do it, so you have something left in you when the real deal comes your way.

8. Supercharge Your Sex Life With A Healthy & Balanced Diet

By now you know that what you put in is what you get out, so reconsider some of the foods you consume. If you consume a lot of saturated fats, sugars, and alcohol, then your mood, energy level, and sex life may take a dive.

Stock up on plenty of healthy fruits and veggies. Plus, foods rich in antioxidants, like avocado, walnuts, blueberries, and green tea, can help increase your libido by increasing blood circulation. As a bonus, blueberries are said to boost dopamine levels, which makes things that feel good feel even better. Lastly, avocados can help regulate your thyroid gland, which in turn can increase your libido.

9. Kegels

If you haven’t noticed, when we’re talking about the vagina and/or pelvic floor, the road always somehow leads to Kegels, and this is no different. Practicing Kegel exercises helps reduce your risk of painful sex and incontinence. So squeeze today and enjoy more satisfying orgasms tomorrow.

(Quick note: if you already have a very tight pelvic floor, hold off on the Kegels. Hypertonic pelvic floor muscles can actually cause pain during sex, which is exactly what you don’t want.)

Golden Years = Happy “Sack” Life

Whoever said that you can’t enjoy steamy and satisfying sack sessions post-menopause clearly didn’t do their research. With a little practice and a few adjustments, the best years of your sex life are yet to come.

Do you have any other steamy suggestions? Tell us about them in the comments.

And if menopause has brought on unexpected sprinkles in addition to subpar sex, Lily Bird has you covered with pads and underwear for leaky laughs and dribble dilemmas delivered right to your door. Start your trial today.

By Jessica Thomas, MPH