ask for help with bladder leaks

Straight Talk, All In The Family

Here at Lily Bird we like to bring in the heavy hitters so you all get expertise and advice from the best of the best. That’s because telling your bladder who’s boss is better as a team sport. This week’s article is from our friends at the National Center for Continence. Thanks to Sarah for the collaboration.


With the holidays fast approaching, we’ve got a lot of friends and family time on the calendar. Some of you may be jumping for joy at the thought. Others might want to hide under a rock.

Do you sometimes feel like you’re living a secret life? Hiding that extra change of clothes in your bag, sneaking off to the bathroom, again? Throwing an extra load of laundry into the washer? If you’ve got incontinence and haven’t said anything about it to your loved ones, it just might be weighing on you.

Often it’s those closest to us that we keep in the dark. But it shouldn’t be that way. Leaks aren’t something that you should feel ashamed of. Incontinence is a real medical condition. It impacts millions of women across the country. And it deserves your attention. Too many women ignore their leaks, which can actually make the condition worse. And chances are that once you open up about it, your loved ones will be your biggest supporters in finding treatment.

But, how do you talk about something like this? It’s simpler than you think. Here are 3 tips from the National Association For Continence to get the conversation started with your partner about incontinence:

Be Real With Yourself

One of the hardest things about opening up with your loved one is admitting you have a problem in the first place. Many of us brush off incontinence as no big deal, thinking it’s just a part of getting older. Recognizing that you have a real medical condition is a first step on the path to treatment. Don’t brush your problem off by acting like it doesn’t exist. Share it with your partner and find help.

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Be Open And Honest

Incontinence is no picnic. It creates real physical and emotional strains and is embarrassing. Sometimes it even causes depression, if left untreated. Tell your loved one how much this condition has affected you. Share your embarrassment. Help them to understand the hold your leaks have on your life – the ways they’ve made you feel and the ways they’ve limited you living your best life. Chances are, if your partner’s been paying attention, they may already suspect something is up. Be as honest as you can about what’s been going on and how it’s made you feel.

Ask For Help And Support

It’s always easier to travel a path with someone else by your side. Enlist the help of your partner. Ask them to research the condition with you. Brainstorm ways that will make it easier for you when out and about. And most of all, ask for their support in getting treatment. Find a doctor and, if it helps you, ask them to accompany you on your appointment. Having a loved one by your side may make the conversation a bit easier.

Incontinence is hard enough to live with on your own. Don’t keep it from your partner too. Chances are, once you’ve found the courage to open up to your loved one, talking to your doctor will be that much easier and you’ll soon find yourself on the path to treating this condition.

Ready to learn more? Find tools to help you manage your condition or join a community at the National Association For Continence website.